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Source: Mikeysfunnies.com
today’sFUNNY===========================
FUN THINGS TO DO ON AN ELEVATOR WHILE BORED
~ When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
~ Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
~ Swat at flies that don’t exist.
~ Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
~ Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
~ Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
~ Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
~ Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
~ Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space!”
~ Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
~ Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
today’sTHOT============================
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
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Prayer for Nan
Be in prayer for Nan as we countdown until Monday when she returns home.
The Summer Begins
It was sad to see this past Tuesday come to a close as our series finally for AMPED was aired. (like the pun – lol) We had a great night with a ton of laughs to be had. Pics will be up next week so check for them.
We are looking forward to the summer. Remember to pay your money for the June 20th trip to Nashville Rescue Mission and Nashville Shores by June 7 – it is 25$.
Also next week, downloadable versions of the summer calendars of June and July will be available as well.
AMPED for Tuesday, May 19
This coming Tuesday, May 19, is our last AMPED for the school year. We are ending on a high note! Please bring $5 for pizza and come enjoy a night fun and wackiness as we reveal the summer calendar and enjoy the night. Don’t forget to bring a friend or 50!
Tuesday May 19
Next Tuesday, May 19 will be our last AMPED for the school year. We will be wrapping up the year and releasing our summer schedule. You won’t want to miss it!
Nan Update – Wrapping Things Up
So.. here we are with one week left in our village and crazy great things are happening. As you know from last week’s update that we were going to start giving out the Salvation bracelets, well we did and it’s been going better than we’d hoped. We were even able to give them to the Men we play the radio for every Tuesday, we turned them into key chains for them though. But through it we were able to explain the Gospel clearly to all of them, we also were able to share it with all the Cheif’s children, wives and himself.
Pray that as we try to display and explain the Gospel clearly that it would penetrate the hearts of everyone who hears. Our schedule got changed a bit so we’re not showing the Jesus Film tonight but tomorrow. Penny and I went out two days ago all over the village telling people that we were showing it again and where so we’re praying for a huge turn out. We haven’t been able to reach much of this side of the village since we’ve been here so we’re really hoping that the people will come and be able to hear the truth. They’ve never shown it on this side of town, so its a completely new thing to most all the people.
This next week we will be doing alot of things for the last time.. Please pray for our goodbyes to go well and for our hearts to be strong. We’ll be doing Kids Club on Sunday in the little village next to us for the last time and studying there with the Women on Monday then saying Goodbye. Tuesday will be our last time with the Men we’ve worked so hard to display the truth to. Wednesday we have some work in the city until Friday, then we’ll finish up Saturday, Sunday and Monday in our village, studying with the believers, visiting with our neighbors and packing up the house.
Tuesday we move back in with Brandy and Kanesa for 2 days then head into the city for Debrief before we fly out. Please pray for us as we prepare to come back to the States that we would have an easy transition back into a First world country. Also for our flights that they wouldn’t be cancelled or delayed but that everything would work out and we’d have safe travels. Thank you once again.. for taking this journey with me. See you soon! Peace and Grace, Nan
An Oops Funny – Wanted to pass this along
MISINTREPRETATIONS OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS
~ I remember my father-in-law loved to sing “The Old Rubber Cross.”
~ When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, “Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses.”
~ When I was a child, I learned this prayer as “Our Father, who are in Heaven, Howard be thy name.” I always thought that was God’s real name.
~ When I was younger, I believed the line was “Lead a snot into temptation.” I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.
~ My mother spent her early childhood praying, “Hail Mary, full of grapes.”
~ My son, who is in nursery school, said, “Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?”
~ I remember thinking this prayer was “Give us this day our jelly bread.”
~ When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain prayer was “He suffered under a bunch of violets.” The real words were “under Pontius Pilate,” but at that age, he didn’t know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.
~ I was a little girl when we sang a song in Sunday school about Noah. Part of the chorus was “And the rains came down, and the floods came up.” We lived next door to a couple of charming little girls who always sang this song while playing in their garden. Their words were, “And the rains came down, and the spuds came up.”
~ When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, “What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?”
Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock years later when he learned that the priest doesn’t say, “Be quiet until you get to your seat.”
today’sTHOT============================
Four out of five people think the fifth is an idiot.
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Nan Update – Coming to the End
Dear Partners…
So we are coming up to our last two weeks in our village and things are busier and crazier than ever. I’m sorry I haven’t been in contact lately our internet has been down all over town so I haven’t had an opportunity to let you know about everything that is going on.
This past two weeks we finished up our John study with our most faithful and interested friend- Vicky. She hasn’t confessed yet but she knows the whole truth. She listened and understood all of John and started going through Mark. She just can’t seem to get enough. Over the next two weeks we plan on doing some more in depth studies with her to help her in her growth. We really believe that she will and is choosing to follow the Truth. When we told her Sunday night that we weren’t going to have a study because we were going to another village to show the Jesus Film, she got really excited and asked if she could go because she had never seen it. So we took her with us, as you may already know we didn’t get to show the film that night, but the next night by His grace we were able to show it. I was sitting by Vicky for most of the film and it blessed my heart because there was a man sitting in front of her that kept asking questions because he wasn’t really understanding what was going on and she answered all of his questions! I asked her about it later and she said she wanted to help him understand because of her listening to John and Mark she understood everything and she just wanted to help him . Also yesterday we were talking with some ladies and she was with us, and a lady asked me if I believed as she did and another lady quickly looked at me and said “Say yes” and I said “No, I follow truth.” The first lady asked if we prayed as she did, I responded that “We pray to Jesus.” The ladies looked a little confused and so Vicky restated that we didn’t believe or follow what they believe and follow but we follow truth and we pray to Jesus. So even though we haven’t had a complete confession, I believe her heart knows, accepts and is following the Truth. Praise Him!
The other big thing that’s been going on is showing the Jesus film. Part of our original plan was to show it twice in our village and once in the small village beside us. 2 of those 3 showings have now happened. And the next should be this up coming week so please keep that in your prayers. It always seems that the first night we attempt to show it something goes wrong. For instance the first time we went to show it Penny and I got really sick, this time the generator wouldn’t work so we showed it the next night. And this coming week we’re going to try to show it (May 8th to be exact) on the other side of our village with the generator so please pray that everything will work out and that many will come. It’s never been shown on this side of the village. Our aim to have all the people hear before we leave and we have a rather good size village so we’re praying this will reach many.
So this past week we did get to show the film in the little village adjacent to us and it did go very, very well. The majority of the village showed up and everyone seemed really receptive, no decisions as of yet but we’re going back this Monday to do some follow up and talk to the ladies. I really believe God is doing some really amazing things there.
We had two really good Kids Clubs this week and this coming up week we’re planning on giving them all Salvation bracelets and explaining the gospel with them. We’re also planning on going through it with the ladies that we’ve been studying with, our neighbors and the ladies in the other small village. We put together about 176 of them so we have a lot of people to explain the gospel to in the next two weeks. Pray that we would be able to explain it as clearly as possible, that the people would be open and receptive and that it would stick in their minds.
The biggest prayer request I believe we have is just that these last two weeks in the village will be extremely effective. We have a lot of things we feel led to do, certain people to talk to and see before we go and just closing everything up and leaving everything we’ve known for the last 4 months. Pray for our hearts to be strong and that we will love more than ever, that we will finish this part of our race with perseverance and joy. Knowing and trusting that He will continue to move among these people that now have such a special place in our hearts.
We’ve had a couple run ins with some dark things over the past couple of weeks, one just this week. It’s been a little tough on my heart. This past one especially, pray that we would have wisdom and discernment and the strength to do and say what needs to be done.
Also please pray for our rest. It’s been getting increasingly hotter (yesterday is was 139 in the direct sunshine) and more humid so falling asleep at night and staying asleep is quite a task.
Thank you for being apart of this journey with us. Please stay faithful till the end with us as we run with perseverance. Your emails, cards and packages and most importantly your prayers have blessed us more than you know. If you have any questions or anything just email me and I should be in the city next week so you should hear from me soon.
Love and Grace,
Nan
